Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Mother's Day Miracle
Betty White on SNL - now that should be hilarious...right?...maybe? The Golden Girl is going to host on mothers day. They can't screw this up...right?...maybe?
My favorite part of the article:
"The announcement followed a campaign on Facebook urging the sketch show to make White a host. The group attracted nearly half-a-million supporters."
Either way this is going to go really well or there will 499,999* more blogs like this one.
*Actually, there is only 491,381 (as of this post) people in the fan club but who's counting.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
WTF is Up with This?!?!
SKIT 5?...6?.... How long have I been asleep?
Apparently, my dreams have NOT come true. Keenan is still alive... and singing, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?. Double nightmare.
GRADE: Y (as in Y is Paul Rudd even in the skit? and why are my eyes and ears bleeding at the same time)
Weekend Update
Keenan deserves an Oscar for acting like he's going to be employed tomorrow. Fire him already.
GRADE: U for "Hey U, Yeah U... U cross dressing snooze factory... U R fired!"
***I grade Weekend Update this way: What would I give it if Jon Stewart was the one telling the jokes? It's not the writers fault Lorne Micheals cant get someone better than that skinny turd to sit at the anchor desk. Oh yeah, I don't include any of the "guest" portions in the grade - those haven't gotten a chuckle in at least 15 years.
Some band - Nap Time
Unless William Shatner performs on SNL, I doubt I'll be commenting on the music. I never watched the bands even when I like them. Usually, I've been bored to sleep by well before the bands, anyway.
***Oh yeah, Springfield Arena '97....I was about to quit the band when I saw your lighter! (now that's writing!)
***You might not remember me, but on February 27, 1994, in Portland, Maine we made eye contact. (I give up, I cant find the video, $50 reward for the person who finds it).
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
SKIT 4: Today Show
GRADE: D + (the plus is for including one of the most laughable inventions of all time, boxed wine!)
Digital Short: Zach G. on Set
Hey SNL you stole me idea...just put Zack G. on screen and you'll get a few laughs.
Of course bringing poor Kenneth Parcell on board your sinking ship was completely uncalled for. Please Hammer... errr.... SNL, don't hurt 'em!
GRADE: D
Monday, March 8, 2010
SKIT 2: Butt Washin'
Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes
I get it, the hairy dude likes to have his two-hole power washed. Poop on you, SNL.
Grade: 2 (out of 10)
SKIT 1: Kiss of Death
SKIT 1 - Mostly dudes kissing at a funeral
This is what R.I.P. SNL calls a One Joke Pony ("OJP") or "That Dead Horse They Beat Sensless Even Though It was Dead When They First Rode In On It" (TDHTBSETIWDWTFRIOI, for short). Why couldnt this funeral be real, and why couldn't Fred Armison be the one in the casket?
Grade: F
Mono
Monologue: The dude from Hangover
If you can't manufacture funny with Zack G., well....hmmmm....uhhhhh.... I cant envision such a thing. Oh wait, yes I can, I just did. OK, OK, a faint chuckle was detected when he referenced thekid who slept with his teacher and then died from high-fiving.
GRADE: D (Stoners with beards are never a complete failure).
The reason...
Opening: Obama Health Care Press Conference
An actual Obama speech on health care has more laughs in it than this skit. A filibuster is funnier. C-SPAN is funnier. Hell, Dick FREAKING Cheney could get more laughs. They don't even attempt a joke for the first two minutes. Put simply - THIS SKIT WAS SO BAD THAT I DECIDED TO START THIS BLOG. I'm dead-freaking-serious.
GRADE: F- for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Terrible
Sunday, March 7, 2010
R.I.P. SNL
In the beginning...
Let me begin by saying - I did not wake up this morning intending to start this blog. No sir, I have better things to do with my time, I really do. But the stars were aligned, this is my destiny, and I will answer the call.
I went to my cousins house to have dinner, etc. After dinner the four of us watched The Hangover. Second time for me, love it, yada yada yada. Getting ready to leave and my cousin utters the words that change my (blogging) life forever: "You know, Zack Gilafanakis is on SNL tonight.".
Like a junkie chasing the dragon, I start to sweat - this could be it, SNL will finally have one funny episode, it'd be impossible not to. You laugh when you just look at him. If you're reading this, Im already dead....errrrrrrr....you know how this story ends.
So, anyhoo... The purpose of the is blog is to start rating the SNL bits - I'll even try to be objective, if I laugh even for a split second, I'll admit it. Hell, if any skit is anything other than a one joke pony, I'll eat my shoe.
KEEP Checking back for reviews, I've got it scheduled to do a few a day.
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